{"id":527,"date":"2026-03-05T17:32:01","date_gmt":"2026-03-05T12:32:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/?p=527"},"modified":"2026-03-05T17:32:01","modified_gmt":"2026-03-05T12:32:01","slug":"bor-bilan-chizilgan-halqa-yoxud-doiradan-tashqaridaman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/?p=527","title":{"rendered":"\u201cBo\u2018r bilan chizilgan halqa\u201d yoxud doiradan tashqaridaman"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>MA&#8217;MURA TO&#8217;RAYEVA<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Buyuklarning buyuk va achchiq qismati bo\u2018ladi. Bilmadim, bu fikrni qachon va qayerda o\u2018qiganman. \u201cBo\u2018r bilan chizilgan halqa\u201dda Markes mashhurlikka erishgach, o\u2018zini odamlardan olib qochgani, uni mashhurlik ortidagi yolg\u2018izlik ta\u2019qib qilgani haqida o\u2018qigandim. Ehtimol, bu asarmasdir, shunchaki xotira bo\u2018lishi mumkin, balki undagi gaplar ham yolg\u2018ondir. Aslida aynan o\u2018shanda o\u2018zimni qandaydir to\u2018siq ichida ekanligimni anglaganman. Anglaganim sayin chiqishga intila boshlaganman. Bu aynan Markes kabi bo\u2018r bilan chizilmagan bo\u2018lishi mumkin, lekin buni men qachon, nima uchun chizganimni ham anglay olmayman. Balki juda ko\u2018p odamlar o\u2018sha halqa ichida yashar. Ba\u2019zilari o\u2018zi \u00a0istab, yana kimdir esa istamay.<\/p>\n<p>Men doim erkinlik istaganman, erkin shaxslarga, erkin jamiki mavjudotlarga ba\u2019zida hasad, ba\u2019zida havas bilan qaraganman. Balki shamolni tutishga urinishim ham uning erkinligiga ega chiqmoqchi ekanligimdandir.<\/p>\n<p>Markes bilan o\u2018xshash jihatlarimiz ko\u2018p, masalan, birinchisi u ham yozuvchi, mening esa yozuvchi degan nomim bo\u2018lmasa-da, nimalardir qoralab turaman. Uning asarlari kuchli va dahshatli, meniki esa cho\u2018pchak. Ha, buni shunday deb yaqinlarim aytgan. Birinchi marta o\u2018sha yerdan ketmoqchi bo\u2018lganimda aytgan, cho\u2018pchak yozib inson hech kim bo\u2018la olmaydi.<\/p>\n<p>Yozuvchi shon-shuhrat shovqinidan qochgan, davralardan uzoqlashgan. U ruhan yolg\u2018iz va erkin bo\u2018lishni istagan. Men-chi?! Men avvaldan ruhan yolg\u2018iz edim, ha aytgancha, faqat men emas, atrofimdagilar ham ruhan yolg\u2018iz. Demak, bizda Markesdan yana bir farqli jihatimiz bor. O\u2018ylab qolaman, qamalish osonmi yoki qamoqdan chiqish. Menimcha, inson xohlagan payt o\u2018z qobig\u2018iga o\u2018ralib qamala oladi, buning uchun aynan bo\u2018r bilan doira chizish shart emas. Qamoqdan chiqish-chi?! U ancha mushkul, balki atrofimdagi odamlar o\u2018sha mushkul ishdan qochgani uchun bu doiradan chiqqisi kelmas.<\/p>\n<p>Qachonki yorug\u2018likka chiqish, erkinlik haqida gapirsang, bilginki, sen yoki telbasan, yoki alahsiragan. Chindan erkinlik istashimni bilganida, u shunday degandi. Yana Markes haqida gapiryapti deb o\u2018ylama, o\u2018zimning bobom haqda hammasi. Markesdan bobom o\u2018ylagandek falsafiy fikrlar chiqishiga ko\u2018zim yetmaydi yoki aksi bo\u2018lishi mumkin. Xullas, o\u2018shanda bobom aytgandilar: \u201cInson erkin bo\u2018lishi uchun oilasini tashlab ketishi yoki baland binoning yuqori qavatidan o\u2018zini tashlab, qandaydir mo\u02bbjizani kutishi kerak emas. Har bir insonning qalbida ichki ovozi bo\u2018ladi. Ichingdagi men bilan suhbating qolmaganda yoki zerikkaningda, \u00a0suhbatdosh izlab erkinlikka intilasan. Ruh erkinligi bu ancha qiyin tushuncha. Buni katta bo\u2018lsang anglaysan bolam&#8230;.\u201d. Markesni yolg\u2018iz bo\u2018lgan deya olmaymiz, u o\u2018sha ichki men bilan qolishni kartoshka va nonning narxini hisoblab yuradigan ko\u2018chadagi odam suhbatidan azizroq bilgan.<\/p>\n<p>Doira ichida yashashni qanday bo\u2018lmasin yoqlamayman. Ichki menim bilan suhbatim qanchalik qiziq bo\u2018lmasin, izlaganim erkinlik. Atrofimda qobiqqa o\u2018ralib olgan odamlarni ko\u2018rib, shunchaki Markes xayolimga tushadi. Ba\u2019zida ularga nimalardir degim keladi. Lekin ayta olmayman. Balki nima aytishim kerakligini hali o\u2018zim ham bilmasman, bilganim faqat bitta narsa: <strong>Men doiradan tashqaridanman&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>MA&#8217;MURA TO&#8217;RAYEVA Buyuklarning buyuk va achchiq qismati bo\u2018ladi. Bilmadim, bu fikrni qachon va qayerda o\u2018qiganman. \u201cBo\u2018r bilan chizilgan halqa\u201dda Markes mashhurlikka erishgach, o\u2018zini odamlardan olib qochgani, uni mashhurlik ortidagi yolg\u2018izlik ta\u2019qib qilgani haqida o\u2018qigandim. Ehtimol, bu asarmasdir, shunchaki xotira bo\u2018lishi mumkin, balki undagi gaplar ham yolg\u2018ondir. Aslida aynan o\u2018shanda o\u2018zimni qandaydir to\u2018siq ichida ekanligimni anglaganman. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-527","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-esse-haqida"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/527","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=527"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/527\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":530,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/527\/revisions\/530"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=527"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=527"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=527"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}