{"id":432,"date":"2025-11-02T19:25:47","date_gmt":"2025-11-02T14:25:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/?p=432"},"modified":"2025-11-02T19:25:47","modified_gmt":"2025-11-02T14:25:47","slug":"odam-haqida-on-bir-hol","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/?p=432","title":{"rendered":"Odam haqida o\u2018n bir hol"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>Shodmonqul SALOM<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Odam degan idishda keltirilganman. Qadimda oz-ozdan no\u2018sh etilardim: kelajakka ham qolsin! Keyin ko\u2018p icharman bo\u2018lib ketishdilar \u2013 Odam bo\u2018shab qoldi. Tabiatda shunday qonun bor: bo\u2018shliqqa o\u2018rin yo\u2018q! Mening o\u2018rnimga bir talx va totli nimadir sizib kira boshladi \u2013 Ishq. Ko\u2018p yillar o\u2018tdi idish to\u2018lgunicha.<\/p>\n<p>Idish arzonlashdimi, qimmatlashdimi \u2013 bilmayman! Ammo bilganim, idishni anovi mening o\u2018rnimni olgan Ishq degan talx va totli narsa yemirib, teshib yubordi. Ming yamoq bo\u2018lib qoldi Odam.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p>Odam degan yo\u2018lga tushirib ketishdi meni. Bir o\u2018zimni. O\u2018ttiz besh-qirq yildan beri ketib boryapman. Tovonlarim qavariblar ketdi. Qush, bo\u2018ri, ilon, daraxt, odam, olov, suv \u2013 hech balo chiqmaydi oldimdan. Yomoni \u2013 menga qaysi tarafga qarab yurishimni ham aytishmagan: o\u2018zing topsang, zavqli emish.<\/p>\n<p>Uning shakli, yuz-ko\u2018zi, ovozi xullas, hech biri haqda menda ma\u2019lumot yo\u2018q. Faqat uning borligi \u2013 bor gap.<\/p>\n<p>Bu yo\u2018lning nomi \u2013 Odam! Ketaveray-chi\u2026<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p>Men Odam degan jamoat uloviman. Ko\u2018p asrlarni kesib o\u2018tib yo\u2018l tortyapman. Yo\u2018lovchilarim \u2013 sizlar esa, mening qadrimga hamisha ham yetavermaysiz. Biringiz mast bo\u2018lib chiqasiz, tag\u2018in birovingiz yo\u2018lkira bermay tushib ketasiz, yana birlaringiz ko\u2018p bola-baqra bilan chiqib vujudimni ifloslantirasiz. Har xil somsa-pomsalarni kovshanasiz. Hech biringiz yo\u2018lni tomosha qilib, olislarga termulmaysiz. Tikilganlarga esa darichani to\u2018sib xalal berasiz. Yo\u2018lning zahmatini, hikmatini ang\u00adlamaysiz. Axir, 120 ming yillik Gen deb atalmish ehtiyot qismlarim bor. Xo\u2018ja\u00adyin bunday noyob qismlarni bir marta ulashadi. Qolaversa, lahzalik, soatlik, kunlik, oylik, yillik, asrlik reja-to\u2018lovim bor. Javobgarlik deganday\u2026 bu yo\u2018l olis bo\u2018lsa, har xil o\u2018qib-o\u2018qimay haydovchilik guvohnomasini olgan ucharlar bilan birga ishlab kelayapman\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Meni yurgizib kelayotgan asriy dvigatellarim ham charchaydi, axir. Shu choqqacha birortangizni aytgan manzilingizdan o\u2018tkazib yo yetkizmay tushirib qoldirdimmi? To\u2018g\u2018ri, beayb \u2013 Parvardigor\u2026 Men ham adashaman. Ammo faqat men aybdormanmi bunga. Haydovchi bor, parishon yo\u2018lovchilar bor. Shahar keng, ulov ko\u2018p. Tushuning, axir. Manzili tayin yo\u2018lovchi qayerga tushishini aytmaydimi?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p>Odam unidan qilingan nonman men. Oz-ozdan, tejab, qo\u2018maqaylik qilmay yeyilishim kerak. Xo\u2018ja\u00adyin xasis-da, bo\u2018lmasa bir kulcha nima bo\u2018ladi yigit odamga! Zahmatga yarasha bo\u2018lsa-da haq degani.<\/p>\n<p>Bir kulchani bir kunga berishsa ham mayli edi \u2013 amallasa bo\u2018lardi. Ammo birgina Odamni butun hayotingga yetkazasan deb berishgan. Boz ustiga po\u2018panak bosib, qoq bo\u2018lib qolganman. Yigitga rahmim keladi, o\u2018zimga ham\u2026<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p>Odam degan tovushman men. Kar bo\u2018p qolmadingizmi (menga o\u2018xshab)? Bu sado to\u2018rt million yil avval jaranglagan. Eshitish qobiliyati 25 gersdan ham yuqori bo\u2018lgan, yuksakdagi bargning sirtida bemalol yuraveradigan, bardoshli chumolilar ham bezgan bu ovozdan. (Qochib daraxtga chiqib ketishgan.) \u201cMeni tinglayapsizmi?\u201d deb o\u2018n ming yillik ko\u2018hna sopol ichidan ham eshitilaveraman-da.<\/p>\n<p>Agar men bunchalik baland bo\u2018lmaganimda Homer maxmur bo\u2018lib, bosh chayqamasdi \u2013 kayfi oshmasdi. Diogen oftobga o\u2018zini bunchalar urdirib qo\u2018ymasdi. Rumiy qamishni bunchalar suymasdi, Navoiy o\u2018ziga o\u2018zga taxallus raqam etarmidi, Beruniy yer va quyosh o\u2018rtasi necha qarich ekanini bilmasdi, Mashrab ovorayi jahon bo\u2018lib yurmasdi: \u201cMehribonim, qaydasan?!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Oy dengizlarni chaqirib, sahroga shamolni quvmasdi, suvaraklar qadam sasidan tirqishlarga o\u2018zini urmasdi, sanamlar tushlarida sochini yulmasdi, yigitlar ulg\u2018aymasdi\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Eh, ko\u2018p narsalar sodir bo\u2018lmasdi. Masalan, Parvardigor bunchalar yuksakka ko\u2018chib ketmasdi \u2013 o\u2018g\u2018illaridan ko\u2018ngli qolib toqqa chiqib ketgan otaday.<\/p>\n<p>Nima deysiz, shunday besaranjom nidoman-da: Odam!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p>Odam degan bir rangman. Asl tusim qandayligini bilish uchun qaysi tarafimdan qarashingizga bog\u2018liqman. Marmar, eskirgan kul, oqquva, keksa kishi sochining rangi, qishki, yog\u2018maydigan, xo\u2018mraygan bulutning tusida ko\u2018proq namoyon bo\u2018layotirman so\u2018nggi davrlarda.<\/p>\n<p>Burungi zamonlarda ko\u2018proq oq bo\u2018lib ko\u2018rinardim. (Hatto o\u2018zimga ham.) Keyin\u2026 qoraydim. Unda ham mazmun ko\u2018p edi. Qora ko\u2018z, qora qosh, qora zulf, deya ko\u2018p asrlar meni alqab yurishdi sodda shoirlar.<\/p>\n<p>Qizargan paytimda ham ancha boobro\u2018 edim. Genning yoshi o\u2018sha paytlarda ancha ulg\u2018ayib qolgan.<\/p>\n<p>Hozir rangimni bilolmayapman. Kamoliddin Behzod, Mir Said Ali Termiziy, Da Vinchi, Pikassoyu Modilyani\u2026 jo\u2018mard oshiqlarimning eng saralari rixlat qilib ketishgan. Kim aytadi mening rangimni, tusimni, o\u2018ngimni\u2026 o\u2018n milliondan ziyod rang\u00adlarni ko\u2018rgichlardan kimdir bormi, orangizda? Uchinchi sinf maktab bolasining dahlizda ag\u2018nab yotgan, jiqqa ho\u2018l, jigarrang poyabzalidan ham izladim o\u2018zimning rangimni\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Hay, shul-da, topilarman\u2026<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p>Men odam degan kimyoviy unsur \u2013 elementman. Judayam teranlikda \u2013 Yer, quyosh va ko\u2018ngilning yadrosida ishlab chiqilaman. Ammo hali kashf etilmadim. Mendeleyev rahmatli o\u2018zi tushida ko\u2018rgan mavjudlik xaritasidan menga joy qoldirmagan. Undan ne gina: xom sut emgan banda-da ul zot ham.<\/p>\n<p>Men ba\u2019zan 36,6 S.da eriydigan Galliydan ham yumshoqman \u2013 bir nigohdan erib ketaman. Ba\u2019zan olmosdan ham ko\u2018ra bag\u2018ritoshman, qattiqman. Turaveraman, sumrayib.<\/p>\n<p>Ikki oyoqda, uch oyoqda, to\u2018rt oyoqda yurgichlar o\u2018zlari bilmay turib meni ko\u2018p iste\u2019mol qilurlar. Ammo iliklarini to\u2018ldirguvchi ham, uzdirguvchi ham, suydirib kuydirguvchi ham Odam ekanidan, ya\u2019ni men ekanimdan bexabardirlar. Nachora\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Goh vasl, goh hajr shaklinda kelaman tuyg\u2018u to\u2018lqinlarining kiftida. Ko\u2018rmaydilar, ko\u2018rolmaslar, hasadgo\u2018ylar\u2026 mayli-da\u2026 (\u201cMayli-da\u2026\u201d degandi-ku bir xokisor yozarman.)<\/p>\n<p>Meni toping, kashf eting, (Sizga!) muhtojligimdan foydalaning \u2013 boyib ketasiz!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p>Ha, kimsan deyapsizmi? Men Odam degan tushman. Quvonchli, qayg\u2018uli\u2026 Yilda bir-ikki bor ruhingizni bezovta qilaman. Meni tanni avaylab, qalbdan xabar olmaydiganlar ko\u2018p ham suyishmaydi. Shuytib, qorong\u2018ulikni vatan tutdim men. Yorug\u2018likni ko\u2018p qattiq suyganimdan qorong\u2018ulikka panaladim. Sizning uyquga tortiq ruhingiz qatlaridan yorug\u2018likka intiq termulaman.<\/p>\n<p>Nur hammaga yetmay qolsa, tag\u2018in meni aybsitadilar. Shu sabab tush bo\u2018lib yaralganman. Ha, men sizdan qadimiyroq narsaman. Tuyg\u2018u va hisning tarhini, farqini, yurak va aql ishlab chiqariladigan joylarning chizmasini, Muddao kemasining manzilini bitilgan maktublarni Tangrim mendan berib yuborgan. Sizlarga deb. Oling desam, qo\u2018rqaman deysiz? Nima, qizbolamisiz?<\/p>\n<p>Men Odam degan maxsus tushman!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p>Odam degan qulfman. Faqat kalitim betayin qolgan. (Ko\u2018pincha qulflarning kaliti sherigingizning cho\u2018ntagida ketib qolgan bo\u2018ladi-ku!) Shu qulfni ochib ichkariga kirsangiz hamma hulyolar shu yerda-da, birodar!<\/p>\n<p>Bu qulfni sizlar unchalik ham tanimaydigan Xudo degich usta yasab, o\u2018rnatib ketgan. Hozir bilmayman, ustasi tushkur qaylarda bo\u2018lsa?..<\/p>\n<p>Eng yomoni bu qulf buzilib qolgan. Bir befarosat, noshukr talaba och qolganida o\u2018g\u2018irlikka tushib buzib qo\u2018ygan. Hey, sadqayi sar\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Qulfni buzib ichkariga kirish uchun esa order \u2013 ruxsatnoma kerak! Orderni oladigan manzil yozilgan qog\u2018oz esa ichkarida qolgan! Ana tomosha!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p>Umringizda biror marta, qanday bo\u2018lsa ham ovqat yeb ko\u2018rganmisiz? Men odam degan taomman! Ko\u2018p tansiqman. Qimmatman. Hammaning ham dasturxonida bo\u2018lmayman, hamma oqbilaklar ham pishirolmaydi meni. Kambag\u2018allar men haqimda eshitgan, ochlik degan ekranlarida ko\u2018rishgan, tamshanib qo\u2018yaqolganlar, xolos. Muhammad alayhissalom lutf etganlar-ku, behishtga kambag\u2018allar ko\u2018proq kiradilar deb. Ammo men behishtda bo\u2018lmayman.<\/p>\n<p>Ana shu meni pishiradigan arzanda pazanda hozir uyda yo\u2018q. Siz uni topib meni bir tatib ko\u2018ring. Chaynaganing gumon, yutganing o\u2018zingniki, deysizlar-ku! Behisht ham bir gap bo\u2018lar.<\/p>\n<p>Ha, mabodo, zaharlanib qolsangiz \u2013 ayb menda emas, pazandada. Chunki, masalliq toza, asl edi, o\u2018tin ham mo\u2018llab qo\u2018yilgan.<\/p>\n<p>Tag\u2018in bir gap: juda oz qolganman, kechikib, so\u2018ngra azal sho\u2018r manglayni mushtlab yurmang yana. \u201cYeganlar armonda, yemaganlar\u2026 ular ham armonda\u2026 Keb qoling\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p>Men Odam degan kirman. Eng zamonaviy sovunlar ham tozalolmaydi meni. Mening zamindan yoshim ancha katta. Meni qoru yomg\u2018irlar yuvib ketkizolmaydi. Men ham poklikni istardim, ammo tog\u2018ora topsam, sovun yo\u2018q, u ham bo\u2018lsa, pishillab, astoyidil yuvadigan bekach yo\u2018q. Men ham pok bo\u2018lishni, Kir degan nomim Pok deya atalishini qattiq istayman. Biroq o\u2018zimni o\u2018zim tozalashga kuch topolmay dog\u2018man. Odam degan kirni Odam degan sovun tozalaydi deb eshitganim bor. Qani o\u2018sha noyob poklik manbasi.<\/p>\n<p>Yo, Tangrim! Nahotki, men izlagan o\u2018sha nodir manba sen bo\u2018lsang!..<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>\u201cIjod olami\u201d jurnali, 2018 yil, 5-son<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Shodmonqul SALOM &nbsp; Odam degan idishda keltirilganman. Qadimda oz-ozdan no\u2018sh etilardim: kelajakka ham qolsin! Keyin ko\u2018p icharman bo\u2018lib ketishdilar \u2013 Odam bo\u2018shab qoldi. Tabiatda shunday qonun bor: bo\u2018shliqqa o\u2018rin yo\u2018q! Mening o\u2018rnimga bir talx va totli nimadir sizib kira boshladi \u2013 Ishq. Ko\u2018p yillar o\u2018tdi idish to\u2018lgunicha. Idish arzonlashdimi, qimmatlashdimi \u2013 bilmayman! Ammo bilganim, idishni [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":436,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[24,22],"tags":[54,87,86],"class_list":["post-432","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-adabiy-esse","category-psixologik","tag-esse","tag-odam","tag-shodmonqul-salom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/432","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=432"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/432\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":438,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/432\/revisions\/438"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/436"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=432"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=432"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=432"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}