{"id":296,"date":"2025-06-30T09:37:24","date_gmt":"2025-06-30T09:37:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/?p=296"},"modified":"2025-07-03T06:31:08","modified_gmt":"2025-07-03T06:31:08","slug":"domla","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/?p=296","title":{"rendered":"Domla"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sevara ALIJONOVA<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

U kishim galstuk taqib, kostyum-shimda yurmaydi, lekin domlalarga xos katta ko\u2019zoynakni ko\u2019ziga qo\u2019ndirib, unga yarasha zambilday zil, katta portfelni bazo\u2019r ko\u2019tarib, o\u2019ng tomonga xiyol egilib yuradi. Ko\u2019ylagining old cho\u2019ntagiga taroqcha solib yuradi. Suhbatdoshi bilan gaplasha-gaplasha, ahyon-ahyonda o\u2019sha taroqcha bilan sochini bir tomonga silliq tarab qo\u2019yadi. Yaqinlarini ko\u2019ngilga tegmaydigan-u, lekin juda yuki og\u2019ir laqablar bilan chaqiradi. Bu chorlovdan sergak tortasan, o\u2019zingni tuzatishga kirishasan. O\u2019shanday \u201cunvon\u201d olganlardan biri men \u2013 Mulla Sevara. Har gal xonasidan yo bir savolga javob topolmay \u201cShoirmisan?\u201d va yo yonidagi suhbatdoshiga \u201cBu kishim \u2013 ustoz, biz \u2013 shogird\u201d qabilidagi dakkiyu pisandalarni eshitib, qizarib-bo\u2019zarib, mulzam bo\u2019lib chiqaman. Ammo bu safar\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

Vaqt peshindan og\u2019ganda, domlaning ish vaqti \u2013 soat uch-to\u2019rtlarga qarab \u201cMa\u2019rifat\u201dga bordim. Eshikni taqillatib kirishim bilan quyuq so\u2019rashib, g\u2019aladonlarini titkilay ketdi. Odatdagi \u201cteshikquloq\u201dlikka ul-bul bo\u2019lsa kerak-da, deb yoqinqiramay o\u2019tiribman. Titkilay-titkilay, so\u2019loqmonday bir \u201cpapka\u201dni oldi. Ustiga \u201cSevara\u201d deb yozilgan. Talabaligimdan beri chiqarilmagan, chiqarib bo\u2019lmaydigan \u201cvagon-vagon\u201d materiallarim yig\u2019ilgan jild. Ichidan bir varaqni tanladi-yu, bolalarcha soddalik bilan, xuddi hayitlik olayotgan bola kabi suyunib menga tutqazdi. \u201cQara, esingdami?\u201d Sakkiz yil avval, birinchi bosqich paytimda \u201celita\u201d guruhga saralash uchun yozilgan insho. Mavzu \u2013 davrimizning global muammosi. Nima ekan, debman. \u201cDomla, nima qilib saqlab yuribsiz? Bu axir tutantiriqqayam yaramaydi-ku!\u201d \u201cOlib ketasanmi?\u201d \u2013 qandaydir ilinj bilan so\u2019radi domla. \u201cNima qilaman buni? Kerak emas!\u201d \u2013 keskin ohangda dedim. \u201cSenga kerak bo\u2019lmasa, menga kerak! Ber bu yoqqa!\u201d \u2013 domlaning jahli chiqqanini kech tushundim. Yoshiga yarashmaydigan qandaydir chaqqonlik bilan varaqni \u201cpapka\u201dga solib, yana qayta g\u2019aladoniga qo\u2019yib qo\u2019ydi-da, g\u2019azabini sezdirmaslikka chiranib: \u201cXo\u2019sh, nimaga kelding?\u201d, dedi. \u201cDomlaning xayoli joyida emasmi?\u201d degan fikr lop etib miyamdan o\u2019tdi-yu, \u201cO\u2019zingiz chaqirdingiz-ku! Joan Didionning essesi bo\u2019yicha\u201d deya ming\u2019irlagan bo\u2019ldim. \u201cMa, o\u2019qi!\u201d, deb stoli ustidagi esseni qo\u2019limga tutqazdi. \u201cSevarajon, qimmatli vaqtingni bekorga sovuribsan\u201d degan yozuvga ko\u2019zim tushdi. Domla shu yo\u2019l bilan qasd olyaptimi, degancha alamim kelib, \u201cMayli, bo\u2019lmasa bo\u2019lmapti-da. Men ketdim, domla\u201d deb, ularning so\u2019ziniyam eshitmay chiqib ketdim.<\/p>\n

Barcha sezimlar ko\u2019ngildan chiqadikuya, eng mahobatlisi \u2013 og\u2019riq bo\u2019lsa kerak. Vujuding selday oqadi, dunyoi dun o\u2019sha og\u2019riqqa sig\u2019may toshayotgandek tuyulaveradi. Dardi dunyoying qorong\u2019i tortib, tongni qayta ko\u2019rmaydigandek bo\u2019laverasan. Axir, bu og\u2019riq faqat o\u2019zingda emas, boshqa insonda ham kechayotganini sezib turasan-da. Men bugun domlaning ko\u2019ngliga o\u2019sha og\u2019riqni solib qo\u2019ydim. Necha yildan beri asrab-avaylab kelayotgani shu bir parcha qog\u2019ozni g\u2019ijimlab uloqtirganday mehri va sevinchini ko\u2019z o\u2019ngida oyog\u2019im bilan tepkilab tashladim. Yo\u2019l-yo\u2019lakay xotiralar lip-lip o\u2019taverdi.<\/p>\n

2008 yil. Bahor. Darsga borsam, ikki-uch kursdoshim birin-ketin sizni Mahmud Sa\u2019diy qidiryapti. Borib uchrar ekansiz, deyishdi. Birinchi marta eshitayotganim bu odamning kim ekanini tushunib-tushunmay, \u201cQayoqqa boraman?\u201d so\u2019radim hayron bo\u2019lib. \u201cMa\u2019rifat\u201d gazetasiga boring. O\u2019sha yerda ishlaydilar. Jurnalist\u201d. U binoni topib borgunimcha ham bir-ikkita yuqori bosqich talabalarining \u201cSiz Sevara Alijonovamisiz? Domla sizni maqtadilar\u201d. \u201cQaysi domla maqtaydi?\u201d \u201cMahmud Sa\u2019diy\u201d degan so\u2019zlaridan hayratim yana oshib, iymanibgina notanish eshikni taqillatdim. Ichkaridagi oq-kulrang aralash sochi bir tomonga silliq taralgan, yelkasi xiyol egik, ko\u2019rinishidan mo\u2019g\u2019ulsifat, oltmish yoshlar atrofidagi kishi bugungidek tabassum bilan \u201cSevaramisan?\u201d dedi\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026Kelganingda quruq kelmay, u-bu narsa yozib kel\u201d, mana necha yildirki, ketar oldi shu gapni eshitaman. Bir kuni \u201cEh, domla, domla, shu-uncha yozdim, baribir chiqarmaysiz-ku\u201d, deya o\u2019pka-gina qilgan bo\u2019ldim. \u201cSen to\u2019g\u2019ri yozasan, lekin chiqarib bo\u2019lmaydi-da\u201d. \u201cYana shunaqa yozaman-da, domla\u201d, dedim. \u201cNima yozsang, yoz. Chiqsa, chiqmasa, yoz! Keyin chiqmayapti, deb araz-gina qilma. Ana, 80-yillarda bergandi bittasi fol`klor haqida maqola. O\u2019zi o\u2019lib ketdiyam hali chiqarganim yo\u2019q. Senga hali uncha bo\u2019lmadi shekilli?!\u201d, domla qitmirligini boshladi. \u201cIshqilib domla, o\u2019sha navbat kelgunicha men ham\u2026\u201d deb nafasimni ichimga yutdim. Chiqarmaydi-yu, lekin kimning qachon, nima haqda yozganidan o\u2019sha paytda nima deganigacha esida turadi bu kishimning. Mahmud Sa\u2019diy deganlari shunaqa odam.<\/p>\n

\u2026ko\u2019p o\u2019qiydi. O\u2019qimagani yo\u2019q hisobi. Lekin yilda yo bir, yo ikkita narsa qoralaydi, xolos. Men domlaning bu ishini ko\u2019p o\u2019qishning kasriga yo\u2019yardim. Bunday odamning o\u2019ziga, so\u2019ziga talabi nihoyat darajada baland bo\u2019lsa kerak, deb bilardim. Lekin he-yech shu savolni berishga jazm etolmasdim. Nimagadir domlani shu savoldan ayagim kelardi. Ko\u2019p yillik yarasini tirnab qo\u2019ymayin, deb qo\u2019rqardim. Ammo ne bo\u2019ldiyu, har turli davralarda Mahmud Sa\u2019diydan so\u2019z ochildi deguncha, kaltagida obdan savalangan, haq so\u2019zining achchiq ta\u2019mini hanuz tuyib yurganlardan \u201cBir iste\u2019dodni topib olib, undan \u201cdaho\u201d yasashga urinadi\u201d, \u201cQo\u2019lidan qancha-qancha kitob o\u2019tdi-yu, o\u2019zi bir kitob yozmadi. Mahmud Sa\u2019diydan nima qoladi?\u201d, qabilidagi kinoyalarni eshitaverib, fig\u2019onim chiqdi. Qani endi zamon ko\u2019tarsa, o\u2019shalarning yoqasidan tutib, \u201cHamma sen kabi o\u2019zini o\u2019ylayversa, sen kabi \u201ckitobcha\u201dsini chiqaraversa, aybingni yashirguvchi, \u201ckitobcha\u201dngni odambashara qilib, Kitob holiga keltiruvchi \u201cmardikor\u201dlar ham kerak-da!\u201d, deb yuziga aytib-aytib olsang! Zarur o\u2019rinlarda aytilgani aytildi ham, eshitgani eshitdi ham. Nohaqliklardan zada bo\u2019lib, bir kuni oxir so\u2019radim: \u201cDomla, yozishingizga nima xalal beradi? Yozsangiz, ancha-muncha nosirbachchalardan yaxshi yozasiz-ku! Nega yozmaysiz?\u201d \u201cBir umr burch yoqamdan tutdi. Avvaliga singlim bir yarim yashar, men to\u2019rt yoshligimda ota-onadan yetim qoldik. Akalik burchi sabab ofitserlik maktabidan qishloqqa qaytib ketdim. O\u2019shanda ko\u2019nglimga qarshi bormaganimda, hozir oldingda harbiy Mahmud Sa\u2019diy o\u2019tirgan bo\u2019lardi. So\u2019ng erlik, otalik, fuqarolik burchi\u2026\u201d \u201cAxir, bularning ijodga nima daxli bor?\u201d \u201cBor! Men alamimni yozishdan emas, tahrirdan oldim. \u201cGuliston\u201d jurnalida ishlab yurgan kezlarim, hozir ham, men uchun nom chiqarish emas, ijtimoiy hayotda voqea bo\u2019ladigan maqola-material chiqarish muhim edi. Bunday maqola chiqarish uchun muallif albatta o\u2019zim bo\u2019lishim shart emas-ku, to\u2019g\u2019rimi? Odam ba\u2019zan yozmay, sukut saqlab ham adabiyotga xizmat qilishi mumkin. Qilgan ishlarimdan hech ham afsuslanmayman. Kim nima desa desin, men o\u2019z vazifamni, muharrirlik ishini bajardim. Muharrirlikning o\u2019zi bir umrga yetgulik kasb\u201d. Yoshligidan Makarenkoni qo\u2019ymay o\u2019qigan Domlaning qulog\u2019iga ilk ustozining so\u2019zlari qo\u2019rg\u2019oshinday quyilib qolgan ekanmi, deyman. \u201cBurch \u2013 odamlarga yaxshilik sog\u2019inish. Ularning avval yaxshi tomonlarini ko\u2019r, nuqsonlari sekin chiqib kelaveradi\u201d. So\u2019zi keskir bo\u2019lsa ham, hech bu kishining birovga yomonlik tilaganini eslolmadim.<\/p>\n

\u2026domlaning taqdirlanganini eshitib, bir suyunsam, bir ajablandim. Axir, bu kishim hujjat to\u2019plab, idorama-idora yuradiganlar sirasidan emasdi-ku. Bu fikrlarni xayolimdan o\u2019tkazib-o\u2019tkazmay, telefondan domlaning ovozi eshitildi: \u201cMulla Sevarami bu?\u201d \u201cHa domla, tabriklayman. Mukofot olibsiz!\u201d dedim sevinchim ichimga sig\u2019may. \u201cIe, sen to\u2019g\u2019ri gapirarding-ku! Mukofot berishdi, Sevarajon!\u201d Mahmud Sa\u2019diy deganlari shunaqa odam.<\/p>\n

\u2026talabalikning uchinchi bosqichida domla \u201cTahrir san\u2019ati\u201d fanidan kira boshladi. Bu kishimga bitta tinglovchi ham kifoya edi. Shu sababmi auditoriyaning yarmi uyqusirab o\u2019tirardi. Domla tahrir san\u2019atidan gapira-gapira, mutolaa san\u2019ati, hayot san\u2019ati kabi boshqa san\u2019atlarga o\u2019tib ketardi-da. Mahmud Sa\u2019diy auditoriyada boshqa odam, tahririyatda butkul boshqa odamga aylanardi. Domlaning ko\u2019p shogirdlari aynan tahririyatda savod chiqargan. Uni hamon yo\u2019qlaguvchilar ko\u2019p. Bu insonni uchratib, vatanga, oilaga, ustozga sadoqat tushunchalaridan farqli, shogirdga sadoqat tuyg\u2019usini ham angladim. Domla shogirdlariga juda sadoqatli. Ammo afsuski, ko\u2019plari mendayin bu sadoqatning qadriga yetavermaydi\u2026 Domlaning bu qadar fidoyiligi, jonkuyarligidan ba\u2019zan jahlim ham chiqib ketadi. \u201cDomla, sizga nima zaril? O\u2019zizni ham o\u2019ylasangiz-chi!\u201d deganimga beparvo \u201cHey, mayli\u201d deb qo\u2019l siltab qo\u2019yadi.\u201cBu odam boshqacha yasholmaydi!\u201d, xayolimdan o\u2019tkazaman qarab turib.<\/p>\n

\u2026bu kishimga didni boshqalardan ko\u2019ra o\u2019n chandon ko\u2019proq yuqtirgan. Shu sababmi, uncha-muncha asar ham yoqavermaydi, uncha-muncha odam ham\u2026 \u201cDomla, sizga o\u2019zi inson zoti yoqadimi?\u201d, deyman, hali uni o\u2019poq, hali buni so\u2019poq deyishlaridan xunob bo\u2019lib. \u201cYoqadi, yoqadi, odam bo\u2019lsa yoqadi-da. Mana, Maqsud Shayxzoda, Asqad Muxtor, Matyoqub Qo\u2019shjonov\u2026\u201d deb ikki-uchtasini sanay ketadi. Oxirida savolimdan og\u2019rinibmi, iymanibmi, \u201cUlarning\u00a0 adabiyotni tanlaganlarining o\u2019zi \u2013 adabiyotga xizmat. Shunisi uchun ham hurmat qilsang, arziydi\u201d deya qo\u2019shib qo\u2019yadi. Domlaning hech kimni tan olmasligidan hayron bo\u2019laman-da, sababini mutolaadan keyi-in tushunib yetaman. Ko\u2019pincha domlaning haq ekaniga, xolis ekaniga amin bo\u2019laman.<\/p>\n

\u2026 Mahmud Sa\u2019diy tarjimasidagi Jan Koktoning \u201cInson ovozi\u201d monodramasini eslayman. Aslida, o\u2019sha yolg\u2019izlik iskanjasida yashayotgan ayol \u2013 qahramon, Mahmud Sa\u2019diy. U bejiz bu asarni tanlamadi tarjima uchun. Unda o\u2019zini ko\u2019rdi, unda o\u2019zini topdi, unda yashadi\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2026bir umr rost gapirdi. Yolg\u2019onni tan olmadi, yolg\u2019on gapirolmadi. Qorani oq deyolmadi. Shuning uchun qora kunlari ko\u2019p bo\u2019ldi. Ko\u2019p dargohga sig\u2019madi. Ko\u2019tarilmadi, ko\u2019paymadi. Hammasi tilining, fe\u2019lining chatoqligidan. Ammo adabiyotni deb traktorini tashlab kelgan bu kishimning vijdoni oldida hamisha yuzi oq bo\u2019ldi.<\/p>\n

\u2026 \u201cSen menga o\u2019xshama! Menga o\u2019xshab yo\u2019q bo\u2019lib ketma!\u201d Bu tilakning ortida og\u2019riq, iztirob va umid qorishib ketgan. O\u2019zganing orzularini o\u2019ziniki deb bilgan odam bir ota-ona bo\u2019lsa, bir Mahmud Sa\u2019diy bor. O\u2019zining xatolarini boshqada takror ko\u2019rmaslikni istagan bir ota-ona bo\u2019lsa, bir ustoz bor. Boshqani ko\u2019rgiliklardan asragan bir ota-ona bo\u2019lsa, bir bu kishim bor\u2026<\/p>\n

Eslayapman-u, ko\u2019zimdan tirqirab yosh chiqib ketyapti. Yaxshilik jazosiz qolmaydi, deb ko\u2019-o\u2019p aytasiz. Mana, domlajon, menga qilgan yaxshiliklaringizning jazosini tortavering. Siz istagan \u201cdaho\u201d bo\u2019lolmadim, ishonchingizni oqlolmadim, umidingizni yana necha shogirdlaringiz qatori so\u2019ndirdim-qo\u2019ydim.<\/p>\n

Domla o\u2019sha kungi so\u2019zlarimdan yaxshigina ranjigan ekan. Anchagacha qo\u2019ng\u2019iroq qilmadi, yo\u2019qlamadi. Domlaning boshqa shogirdlari \u201cDomla sizni so\u2019radilar\u201d deb aytib turishdi. Men o\u2019zimni kechirolmay yurgan bir pallada, Mahmud Sa\u2019diydek inson nevarasi tengi qizning taqdiri, qalami bilan tinimsiz boxabar bo\u2019lib turishi battar vijdon azobiga solmaydimi!<\/p>\n

Domla, mehringiz, jonkuyarligingiz va rostgo\u2019yligingiz qarshisida ta\u2019zimdaman! Haqiqat va fidoyilik tushunchalari bitib ketmay, keyingi avlodga sizdan meros qoldi! Domla, sizdan \u201cdaho\u201dlar qolmasa, shogirdlaringiz yetarli. Sizdan kitob qolmasa, maktab qoldi!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sevara ALIJONOVA   U kishim galstuk taqib, kostyum-shimda yurmaydi, lekin domlalarga xos katta ko\u2019zoynakni ko\u2019ziga qo\u2019ndirib, unga yarasha zambilday zil, katta portfelni bazo\u2019r ko\u2019tarib, o\u2019ng tomonga xiyol egilib yuradi. Ko\u2019ylagining old cho\u2019ntagiga taroqcha solib yuradi. Suhbatdoshi bilan gaplasha-gaplasha, ahyon-ahyonda o\u2019sha taroqcha bilan sochini bir tomonga silliq tarab qo\u2019yadi. Yaqinlarini ko\u2019ngilga tegmaydigan-u, lekin juda yuki og\u2019ir […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":297,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[31,26],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-296","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-bosh-sahifa","8":"category-portret-esse"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/296","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=296"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/296\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":331,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/296\/revisions\/331"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/297"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=296"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=296"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=296"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}