{"id":236,"date":"2025-06-23T11:13:51","date_gmt":"2025-06-23T11:13:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/?p=236"},"modified":"2025-07-02T10:02:59","modified_gmt":"2025-07-02T10:02:59","slug":"cevgi-sanatmi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/?p=236","title":{"rendered":"Sevgi \u2013 san\u2019atmi?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><strong>Erix FROMM<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Sevgi, haqiqatdan ham, san\u2019atmi? Basharti san\u2019at bo\u2018lsa, mehnat va bilim talab qiladi. Balki bu faqat muayyan holatda mast qiluvchi, omad kulib boqsagina nasib etadigan mastona holatdir? Bu kitobda dastlabki taxminga tayanib, fikr yuritamiz, holbuki aksariyat, shubhasiz, keyingi talqinga qo\u2018shiladi. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Ular muhabbatga yengil-yelpi qaraganliklari uchungina shunday xulosaga kelmagan. Aksincha, ular muhabbatga tashna, baxtli va baxtsiz sevgi to\u2018g\u2018risidagi ko\u2018plab filmlarni tomosha qiladilar va sevgini vasf etuvchi yuzlab siyqa qo\u2018shiqlarni tinglaydilar \u2013 biroq muhabbat bobida ishq dardiga qo\u2018shimcha yana nimalarnidir o\u2018qib-o\u2018rganish zarurligini hatto o\u2018ylab ko\u2018rgani ham dargumon. Bunday yondoshuv negizini, odatda, uni qo\u2018llab-quvvatlovchi bir yoki bir necha aqidalar tashkil etadi. Aksariyat uchun muhabbat muammosi \u2013 eng avvalo, qanday qilib bo\u2018lsa ham o\u2018zgalarning mehr-muhabbatini qozonishdan iborat, holbuki o\u2018zim qanday sevishim zarur deya bosh qotirishlari joiz, xullas hech kim kimgadir mehr-muhabbat qo\u2018yish borasida jiddiy mulohaza yuritmaydi. Shunday qilib, ular sevimli bo\u2018lish uchun nima qilish kerakligi borasida qayg\u2018uradilar. Bu maqsadga turli yo\u2018llar bilan intiladilar. Asosan erkaklarga xos bu usullardan biri \u2013 hayotda imkon boricha ko\u2018proq natijalarni qo\u2018lga kiritish, ijtimoiy maqom imkon bergan darajada yuqoriroq mansabga erishish va mol-mulk jamg\u2018arishdan iborat. Ayollar afzal biladigan usul esa jozibador bo\u2018lishga intilish, o\u2018ziga oro berish, so\u2018nggi rusumga binoan kiyinish kabilarni o\u2018z ichiga oladi. Jozibadorlikning boshqa usullari ham bor \u2013 ulardan erkaklar ham, ayollar ham foydalanadi: ibratli xulq-atvorni shakllantirish, xushmuomala-ibratli fe\u2019l-atvor, xushmuomalalik, ko\u2018ngilchanlik, kamtarlik va andishali nazlokatlilik. Kimningdir mehrini qozonish bilan bog\u2018liq ko\u2018plab usullar \u2013 ayni paytda yutuqlarni qo\u2018lga kiritish, do\u2018stlar e\u2019tiboriga sazovor bo\u2018lish va obro\u2018-e\u2019tibor qozonishda ham qo\u2018l keladi. Mehr qozonishni aksariyat zamondoshlarimiz dilovarlik va jinsiy jozibadorlikning (sex-appeal) allaqanday uyg\u2018unligi deb biladilar.<\/p>\n<p>Muhabbat borasida biron o\u2018zgarishning hojati yo\u2018q degan ikkinchi aqida \u2013 bu muhabbat muammosi qobiliyatga daxli yo\u2018q ma\u2019shuq-ma\u2019shuqa muammosi degan faraz hisoblanadi. Sevish oson, biroq muhabbatga munosib yoxud sevimli bo\u2018lish uchun arziydigan siymoni topish muammo, degan xomxayol pand beradi. bunday aqidaning negizi jamiyat rivojlanishiga borib taqaladi. Avvalo XX asrda \u201cmuhabbatga munosib\u201d siymoni topishga munosabat keskin o\u2018zgardiviktorian davrida, muayyan tamoyillarga sodiq boshqa qator tamaddunlarda bo\u2018lganidek, kechinalik nikohga olib keladigan muhabbat bevosita shaxsiy kechingma bo\u2018lmagan. Aksincha, qiz-yigitlar bitishuv asosidla nikohlangan \u2013 yoki biron bir nufuzli oilalar yoxud sovchi vositachiligida yohud vositachilarsiz nikohlangan. Yigit-qizlar ijtimoiy nuqtai nazardan kelib chiqqan holda nikohdlan o\u2018tishgan. Muhabbat esa nikohdan keyin tug\u2018ilib, kuchayib boraveradi, de gan qida hukmronlik qilgan. Biroq G\u02bbarbda so\u2018nggi bir necha avlod hayoti mobaynida romantik muhabbat deyarli uzil-kesil tanatan qildi. qo\u2018shma Shtatlarda garchi nikoh shartnoma asosida tuziladi degan tasavvur qaysidir ma\u2019noda saqlanib kelayotgan bo\u2018lsa-da, ayni paytda aksariyat romanttik muhabbatga \u2013 keyinchalik oila qurishga olib keladigan shaxsiy kechinmaolarga tashna. Muhabbat bobida ayni shunday erkin yondoshuv tufayli, ehtimol, vazifa ahamiyatiga zid ravishda obyekt-siymoning ahamiyati ortdi.<\/p>\n<p>Ayni shu omil bilan zamonamizga xos yana bir xususiyat chambarchas bog\u2018liq. Turmush tarzimiz tamomila imkon boricha ko\u2018proq mol-mulk xarid qilish, o\u2018zaro foydali ayirboshlash g\u2018oyasiga tayanadi. Zamondoshlarimiz do\u2018konlarning peshtaxtalarini yeb qo\u2018yguday ko\u2018zdan kechirish va hamyoni ko\u2018taradigan barcha lash-lushlarni naqd pulga yoki qarzga xarid qilishni baxt-saodat biladilar. Erkaklar (ayollar ham) odamlarga ham shunday nuqtai nazar bilan qaraydilar. Erkak uchun jozibador juvon yoki juvonning ko\u2018ziga olovday ko\u2018ringan yigitning \u2013 biron-bir ashyodan farqi yo\u2018q, har ikki holatda ham ular ayni ashyoga egalik qilishni xohlaydi. \u201cJozibador\u201d atamasi odatda shaxslar bozorida xaridorgir ibratli fazilatlarning antiqa guldastasini ifodalaydi. Insonni ham jismonan, ham ruhan nima jozibador qilishi esa moda, ya\u2019ni mavjud mezonlarga bog\u2018liq. 20-yillarda ichadigan va chekadigan, jismonan baquvvat va serhayajon qiz-juvonlar jozibador sanalgan. Hozir oilaparvar va kamtar juvonlarga talab katta. XIX asr oxirlarida va XX asr boshlarida erkaklar o\u2018ta qat\u2019iyatli va izzattalab bo\u2018lishi ma\u2019qul ko\u2018rilardi; hozir esa zaifalarni \u201cilintirish\u201d uchun xushmuomala va sabr-toqatli bo\u2018lish zarur. Mahliyolik, ya\u2019ni kimgadir mehr baxsh etish \u00abhamyonimizga\u00bb mos, o\u2018zimizni ayirbosh qila oladigan kimsaga mahliyo bo\u2018lsakkina, mantiqiy ish tutgan bo\u2018lamiz. Men bitim tuzmoqchiman; mo\u2018ljalim \u2013 diqqat-e\u2019tiborimni jalb qilgan \u201cnomzod\u201d ijtimoiy qadr-qimmati jihatidan munosib bo\u2018lishi va ayni paytda oshkora va pinhon xususiyatlarimni hisobga olgan holda menga moyil bo\u2018lishi darkor. Binobarin, \u201cnomzod\u201dlar bozoridan ayirbosh qilinayotgan shaxsiy qadr-qimmati nuqtai nazaridan eng munosibini topdim, degan xulosaga har ikki tomon kelsagina, bir-birlariga muqabbat qo\u2018yadilar. Chinakam oldi-sotdida bo\u2018lganidek, aksariyat nikoh bitimi tuzilishida keyinchalik yuzaga chiqadigan pinhoniy imkoniyatlar va fazilatlar jiddiy ahamiyatga ega bo\u2018ladi. Toki bozor munosabatlariga yo\u2018nalgan ijtimoiy muhitda moddiy ustunlik hal qiluvchi o\u2018rin tutar ekan, muhabbat munosabatlarida ham ayni tovarlar bozorida va ishchi kuchi bozorida hukmronlik qilayotgan ayirboshlash tamoyillariga amal qilinishiga ajablanishning hojati yo\u2018q.<\/p>\n<p>Muhabbat bobida biron bir hikmatni o\u2018rganishning hojati yo\u2018q, degan farazga olib keluvchi uchinchi noto\u2018g\u2018ri aqida, \u2014 bu \u201csevib qolish\u201d iborasi bilan ifodalanadigan qisqa muddatli \u201cboshlang\u2018ich\u201d kechinmalar bilan \u201csevish\u201d (Izoh: 1. Asliyatda so\u2018z o\u2018yini: \u201cfalling in love\u201d \u2013 \u201csevish, mahliyo bo\u2018lish\u201d, \u201cto\u2018g\u2018ridan-to\u2018g\u2018ri sevgi dardiga mubtalo bo\u2018lish\u201d, va being in love? Or as we minght better say\u2026 \u201cstanding in love\u201d \u2013 muhabbatni boshdan kechirish, yoki yana ham to\u2018g\u2018rirog\u2018i muhabbat tufayli \u201csehrlanganday mahliyo bo\u2018lish\u201d ma\u2019nolarini bildiradi) so\u2018zi bilan ifodalanadigan uzluksiz holatni chalkashtirishdir. Bir-biriga begona yigit va qiz \u2013 hammamiz singari \u2013 daf\u2019atan begonalik tuyg\u2018usini bartaraf etib, bundan buyon ham jismonan, ham qalban kishilar ekanini his etgan holda bir tanu bir jonga aylanganiga imon keltirsalar \u2013 bu hayotda eng hayajonli, unutilmas lahzalar bo\u2018lib qoladi. Bu ayniqsa yakka-yolg\u2018iz, mehru muhabbatdan mosuvo kun kechirgan kishilarni ayniqsa hayratlantirib, hayajonga soladi. Jinsiy mayl va jismoniy yaqinlik natijasidagi yoki ayni arafada ro\u2018y bergan shunday holatlar tufayli bunday favqulodda o\u2018zaro yaqinlik jazavasi aksariyat ancha bosiladi. Biroq bunday muhabbat o\u2018zaro xususiyatiga binoan omonat. Ikavlon bir-birini tobora yaqindan bilgani sayin o\u2018zaro yaqinlik avvalgi jozibasini asta-sekin yo\u2018qotib, oxir-oqibat ularning to\u2018qnashuvi, afsus-nadomati va diqqatpazliklari dastlabki hayratdan qolgan barcha narsani yer bilan yakson qiladi. Biroq dastlabki kezlarda bu ularning hatto xayoliga ham kelmaydi: aslida ko\u2018r-ko\u2018rona, basir his-hayajonlar girdobini o\u2018zaro mehr-muhabbat qudratining isboti, deb hisoblaydilar, aslida esa bular ilgari qanchalik yakka-yolg\u2018iz bo\u2018lganining dalolati, xalos.<\/p>\n<p>Bunday yondashuv \u2013 ya\u2019ni sevishdan osoni yo\u2018q degan taxmin, \u2013 juda keng tarqalgan muhabbat talqini bo\u2018lib, holbuki buning tamomila teskarisi ayni haqiqatdir. Shu qadar yorqin orzu-umidlar bilan kirishiladigan va ayni paytda shu darajada shiddat bilan barbod bo\u2018ladigan boshqa biron bir faoliyat, a\u2019mol borligi dargumon. Basharti boshqa biron bir faoliyat turi haqida gap ketguday bo\u2018lsa, odam omadsizlik sabablarini jon-jahdi bilan aniqlashga va ularga chap berishga zo\u2018r bergan, yohud eng osoni, bunday ishni yig\u2018ishtirib qo\u2018ya qolgan bo\u2018lardi. Muhabbat borasida bunday ish tutishning imkoni yo\u2018qligi uchun, omadsizlikka yo\u2018ymaslikning yolg\u2018iz mos usuli mavjud \u2013 uning sabablarini sinchiklab tekshirish va muhabbat mohiyatini o\u2018rganishdir.<\/p>\n<p>Bu yo\u2018nalishdagi dastlabki qadam \u2013 hayot san\u2019at bo\u2018lgani singari muhabbat ham san\u2019at ekanini har kim o\u2018zi uchun oydinlashtirib olishi zarur; basharti muhabbat ilmini o\u2018rganish-o\u2018zlashtirishni istasak, boshqa istalgan san\u2019at turi \u2013 deylik, musiqa, tasviriy san\u2019at, duradgorlik, tibbiyot yoki muhandislik san\u2019ati bilan shug\u2018ullanish uchun nimaiki talab qilinsa, muhabbat ilmini o\u2018zlashtirish borasida ham ayni shunday yo\u2018ldan borish talab etiladi. San\u2019at cho\u2018qqilarini zabt etishda qanday dovonlardan o\u2018tiladi?<\/p>\n<p>San\u2019atni egallash jarayonini ikki qism \u2013 nazariya va tajribani o\u2018zlashtirishga ajratish mumkin. Shifokor bo\u2018lish uchun inson tanasi a\u2019zolarini va turi kasalliklarni o\u2018rganishim kerak. Bu nazariy bilimlarni egallaganimdan qat\u2019iy nazar tibbiyot bobida mutlaqo vallomatlik da\u2019vo qila olmayman. Men bu san\u2019atni faqat puxta tajriba orttirgach, nazariy bilimlarim va amaliy ko\u2018nikmalarim uyg\u2018unlashib, istalgan san\u2019atni egallashning mohiyati hisoblanuvchi botiniy sezgirlikni hosil qilgachgina bu san\u2019atni o\u2018zlashtiraman. Biroq nazariya va tajribadan tashqari uchinchi omil ham bor: san\u2019atni egallash favqulodda muhim ahamiyat kasb etishi, ayni shu san\u2019atdan muhim hech vaqo bo\u2018lmasligi kerak. Bu musiqaga ham, tibbiyotga ham, durodgorlikka ham, hatto muhabbatga ham taalluqli. Zamondoshlarimiz muhabbat borasida oshkora omadsizlikka duch kelishiga qaramasdan ayni san\u2019at sirlarini kamdan-kam o\u2018rganishga jazm qilishlari bilan bog\u2018liq savolga javob ayni mana shunday bo\u2018lishi ehtimoldan holi emas: ishq-muhabbatga ich-ichimizda qanchalar tashna bo\u2018lmaylik, muvaffaqiyat, obro\u2018-e\u2019tibor, sarmoya, amal-mansab \u2013 deyarli butun kuch-g\u2018ayratimizni shu maqsadlarni qo\u2018lga kiritish yo\u2018llarini o\u2018rganishga safarbar etamiz, oxir-oqibat muhabbat san\u2019atini egallash uchun holimiz qolmaydi.<\/p>\n<p>Mo\u2018may daromad yoki obro\u2018-e\u2019tibor keltiradigan bilimlarnigina mo\u02bbtabar bilib, \u201cfaqat\u201d qalbimizga surur baxsh etib, zamonaviy nuqtai nazardan befoyda, bema\u2019ni muhabbatni qanday qilib astoydil sa\u2019y-harakat talab etmaydigan ermak hisoblash mumkin? Afsuski, biz shunday holat guvohimiz, va men bundan buyon ham yuqorida eslatilgan tavofutga amal qilaman: dastlab muhabbat nazariyasi \u2013 ta\u2019limoti bayon etiladi, bu kitobning aksariyat qismini tashkil etadi, so\u2018ng muhabbat ko\u2018nikma-tajribasiga qisqa to\u2018xtalamiz, qisqa to\u2018xtalishimizning boisi, har qanday tajriba xususida muxtasar fikr-mulohazaning o\u2018zi kifoya.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><em>Abduhamid PARDAY<\/em><em>E<\/em><em>V tarjimasi<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Erix FROMM &nbsp; Sevgi, haqiqatdan ham, san\u2019atmi? Basharti san\u2019at bo\u2018lsa, mehnat va bilim talab qiladi. Balki bu faqat muayyan holatda mast qiluvchi, omad kulib boqsagina nasib etadigan mastona holatdir? Bu kitobda dastlabki taxminga tayanib, fikr yuritamiz, holbuki aksariyat, shubhasiz, keyingi talqinga qo\u2018shiladi. Ular muhabbatga yengil-yelpi qaraganliklari uchungina shunday xulosaga kelmagan. Aksincha, ular muhabbatga tashna, baxtli [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":237,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[31,22],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-236","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-bosh-sahifa","8":"category-psixologik"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/236","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=236"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/236\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":323,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/236\/revisions\/323"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/237"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=236"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=236"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esselar.uz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=236"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}